The world's most exclusive golf club. Zero holes. Zero instructors. Zero chance you're getting in.
“This place is f&#%ing incredible” — Frank M, 2003 US Amateur Qualifier†
Shop The Pro Shop*Rated by our own board, unanimously, 6–0, with one abstention (Brady, dog).
†Qualification could not be independently verified. Frank has asked us to stop checking.
Membership is nearly impossible. The hat will not be. Everything printed on demand, because holding inventory would imply our leadership plans ahead.
Embroidered crest. Identical to the one worn by Mike S — Founder, Chairman Emeritus, and Visionary. He is the godfather. Enough said.
The official excuse of Underbrook, now in 11oz ceramic. The Brad McD Special: blame the simulator, sip, repeat.
Moisture-wicking performance fabric for athletes who face zero weather of any kind. *Also sold to non-members. Everything is.
As worn on duty by Ryan, Luke, and Brady. This asset needs to be protected. Period. Fits most Directors.
Keeps your official club beer (Pabst Blue Ribbon) cold while your invoice heats up. Frank M will call regardless.
Commemorating golf's most prestigious alternate-shot competition. Every dog that has competed has outdriven Frank.
All proceeds go toward greatness. And the La Croix LimonCello budget.
Augusta has one major. We host four. Draw your own conclusions.
Bring a guest. Watch them realize what they've walked into. They never come back, and yet the waitlist grows.
Our most exclusive field, since there are barely any members. 2023 Winner: [name withheld pending dues payment].
Distances measured by the simulator, which has never glitched in anyone's favor. Except Brad's. Repeatedly.
Alternate shot. The Directors of Security are past champions and current favorites. The betting is out of control.
Also on the calendar: The Fall Down Classic, Bridge & Bogeys, and the Christmas Spectacular (2023: Michael McD & Ryan McD, still talking about it).
Do you really think we attract this caliber of member with just the greatest indoor facility on Earth? No. It's us.
He is the godfather… enough said. Plays outdoors only when absolutely necessary.
The gatekeeper. He seems nice, but not always. Your best and only chance in… and it's still not a good chance.
When you spend half of every day here, you need some responsibility. Three hours a day, 97 days running.
This role now gives him a legitimate reason to be in Florida. Expansion progress: he is in Florida.
If you are late on dues and see Frank M calling… it's not good news. It's never good news.
This asset needs to be protected. Period. Compensation: whatever hits the floor. See Official Dog Food, below.
"What will it take to be a part of greatness?" — Fortune 100 CEOs, constantly, to our board. The answer is usually no.
Four of our eleven official partnerships are beverages. One is lawn seed, for our indoor facility. Greatness doesn't answer questions.
Think your company has what it takes? Doubtful… but we consider all potential partners.
A rigorous, transparent, three-step process.
He is the gatekeeper. He is your best and only chance into the club.
It's still not a good chance. It was never a good chance. Jack seemed nice. He isn't always.
The Pro Shop opens soon, to the public, because greatness has overhead and the dues only cover so much.