Membership

The Path to Membership

A rigorous, transparent, three-step process with a well-documented outcome.

1

Talk to Jack S

He is the gatekeeper. He is your best and only chance into the club.

2

Be Declined

It's still not a good chance. It was never a good chance. Jack seemed nice. He isn't always.

3

Buy a Hat

The Pro Shop is open to the public, because greatness has overhead.

Fee Schedule

Dues & Fees, Disclosed in Full

Initiation feeUndisclosed
Annual duesA lot
Next year's duesMore
Guest feeYour guest's dignity
Computer glitch appeal filing fee$50, non-refundable, always denied
Exit Committee consultationInvoluntary

All fees subject to increase without notice, reason, or apology. Questions may be directed to Frank M, who will not hear them.